From The Pumpkin Patch

I’m so excited to finally write those words. Becoming a published author has been a dream of mine ever since I was old enough to read, but it always seemed so far away.

If I’m really honest with myself, I’ve held myself back more times than I can count over my lifetime. I often doubt my skills and abilities so much that I keep myself in a little box, and as a result I don’t always reach for my wildest dreams.

But this year, something clicked inside me. I can do this. I have an idea, I’ve outlined the idea, and I’ve started writing. I’m actually writing a book!

This is new and challenging territory for me, and I have to admit it’s a little scary. I’ve written countless website articles and blog posts throughout my professional career, but I’ve never found the confidence to dip my toes into the world of creative writing before.

For some reason, things are different now. I’ve written almost 10,000 words of my first draft and have no plans to slow down. I can’t reveal too much about the plot right now; all I’ll say is that it’s a dark adult fiction novel that explores some uncomfortable themes. It’s already made me cry!

As a result of this new goal, things may be a little quieter around here than usual for the next few months as I work on my manuscript. A lot of my professional work involves writing, so I want to save as much creative energy as possible for my novel. I do have a couple of blog posts planned, as I’m currently halfway through a two-month trip to America and have a ton of photographs that I want to share. But aside from that, I may be MIA for a while.

My goal is to finish the first draft by my 35th birthday, which is waiting for me in August. That’s a pretty lofty goal, as my progress is fairly slow at the moment. I’ve found my writing style to be quite meticulous – all the advice I’ve read online screams at me to just write the first draft without caring how bad it is, and then go back and edit later. I can’t do that. It drives me crazy to leave an unpolished paragraph just sitting there.

What’s working best for me right now is to write stream of consciousness for a while and then go back and tweak it until I’m reasonably happy with the outcome. It doesn’t have to be perfect and it will likely still need a lot of editing in the second draft, but I need to feel pretty good about each chapter before I leave it alone.

My current goal is to write 300-500 words per day, every day. So far, this has really helped to get me into the habit of sitting down and working on the story on a regular basis. Once I return to the UK I plan to increase this goal to 500-1000 words per day, as I’ll have more of a structured routine back home.

Having something fulfilling and creative to work on is doing wonders for my mental health. If I’m honest, the last year has been a bit of a struggle. I’ve alluded to bits and pieces here on my blog, but I don’t feel comfortable sharing the details with the world yet. Things haven’t gotten any easier lately, and that’s partly why I’m here in America right now. Being in the UK reminds me too much of everything that’s gone wrong, and I desperately needed an escape.

I’m grateful to be self-employed and able to work from anywhere in the world, and I’m even more grateful for my wonderful husband. Life hasn’t been kind enough to us lately, but we are dealing with it the best way we know how – together.

I hope to share more about our difficult journey in the future, but right now I am focused on brighter things.

One good thing has come out of all this, and that’s my novel-in-progress. I truly believe that I would not have had the emotional bandwidth to delve into this story without the heartbreak I’ve experienced in recent years. I’ve always wanted to write a book, and now I’m finally ready.

10,000 words down, 60,000+ to go!